Posted by exxacta (Ranked on Team Pinochle (Yahoo) Ladder) on August 25, 2008 at 14:33:10:
In Reply to: 5 posted by exxacta (Gold Member) on August 08, 2006 at 12:51:31:
My Presidential Platform and White House Staff
VP – Arnold Schwarzenegger
The VP job is to have my back. Who better to have when I need somebody’s rear kicked?
Chief of Staff – Warren Buffet
Dude isn’t looking for a career after the office on the lecture circuit; has more money then God, knows how to make money, and doesn’t take no for an answer. Either you do it his way (which I tell him) or he simply buys you.
Secretary of Defense – H. Ross Perot
The man truly understands Patriotism, and isn’t afraid to do what is called for.
Attorney General – Simon Cowell of American Idol
Since I will be the President, I will have Harvard fast track his legal degree. Dude isn’t afraid to speak his mind, tells it like it is, and doesn’t give a dang what you think about it. More criminals need that, especially when it comes to sentencing.
Surgeon General – Dr. Jack Kevorkian
I’m giving him his medical license back. He isn’t afraid to stand up for what he believes in, and if I am all jacked up at the end of my life, I want the option to say goodbye without 5 more years of misery, pain, and financial drain on my family
My Top 10 Priorities of Policy (in no specific order)
1. I’m building a higher fence on the Mexico border and putting points of entry every 50 miles. I’ve got nothing against Mexico, but you aren’t getting in without doing it right. If you want a job, great, but you’re doing it legally and you are paying taxes. The points of entry thing every 50 miles; ever seen the lines at the border – it takes forever – I’m speeding that up.
2. I’m capping gas prices at $2.50 per gallon. If the oil companies can represent 6 of the top ten largest companies in the world, you can help a brother out and make 50 billion instead of 75 billion; still leaves you plenty of ‘go-out-and-have-dinner’ money and allows us common folk to drive to work AND be able to feed their kids.
3. I’m legalizing marijuana. I like it, lots of folks like it, and I’m going to tax the crap out of it. With the 500 million I’m going to save in drug enforcement, the 250 million I’m going to save in reduced jail/prison population for stupid charges, and the 500 million I’m going to make in taxes, I have a less stressed population, and 1.25 billion to go buy Puerto Rico with as the 51st state.
4. I’m revoking the citizenship and banning from the country any U.S. born athlete that elects to represent a foreign country in the Olympics.
5. I’m lowering the drinking age to 18. If you can die for your country while defending it in the course of military duty, vote for the people that run the country, and be considered of legal age for just about everything else, you get to have a drink.
6. I’m putting the medical and insurance industry in check immediately. Unless you can give me one heck of an answer why an X-Ray is billed at $100 for those with insurance but $185 to those without, that crap stops now. Look, if I don’t have insurance you know I am strapped for cash; why screw me even more by charging me more.
7. As with point 6, I’m putting all the credit folks in check, like the car sales people. Why is it that if I have perfect credit, I can finance a car for 1% interest, but if my credit sucks, you ring me up for 19% or more. Uh, hello! Don’t you think the folks that don’t have great credit can use the lower interest rate a bit more then those with dough? That was challenging to figure out.
8. I’m giving all farmers a free lifetime pass on any and all types of taxes. If you have decide to spend your life busting your butt to feed my entire country with a product you don’t get paid much for, you aren’t paying income tax. Additionally, I am adding you to the official White House Christmas card list and personally signing it.
9. I’m changing the First Amendment to the Constitution regarding freedom of speech. I’m still going to basically allow you to say what you want, how you want, when you want, and for the most part – where you want. I have rules though. The example I will use is for those that don’t like people of gay or bisexual affiliation. You can protest all you want, but the next time you try to protest at a gay soldiers funeral, who died while serving and protecting his country, I am going to ring your butt up so hard you won’t see the light of day for at least a decade in a federal penitentiary.
10. I am going to enact a new law governing on-hold technical support messages. I wrote this entire thing while being placed on hold for 33 minutes and 17 seconds before I got to speak to a live person. Every two minutes, some lady on the recording wanted to ‘Thank me for my patience’. Woman, if I am calling technical support, odds are good that I’m already running pretty thin on patience. The last thing I want to hear is you thanking me for patience I don’t have. No more; if you do it again, I’m sending the I.R.S. to audit your butt.
My name is Greg Summers and I approve of this message.