Dear Fridge Guy,
Originally I was going to apologize for the dent in the crown after you stole it from me, but since you then embarked on your big losing streak, bumping *me* all the way down to #5, I not only decided not to apologize for the dent, but I wish I could have dented it on top of *your* head! Thanks for nuthin'! What, you couldn't start your losing streak with ME??!
Sincerely,
Xorro
P.S.: :op